January 11, 2023
We know that God calls us to obedience. Most of us understand that disobedience to God causes things in our lives to unravel. The same can be said about our marriages. God says something very interesting to husbands in 1st Peter 3:7 (ESV)
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Did everyone catch that? No, not the part about women being the weaker vessel. That has nothing to do with spiritual, intellectual, or moral inferiority. Both men and women were created in the image of God. Think of it this way- if you had fine china dishes and an old-school Stanley thermos, which would you take care of more? The fine china, right? The dishes are extremely valuable but are not physically strong. That old green thermos? It’s not nearly as valuable. So it gets tossed in the back of the truck bed, scratched up, dented, and can take a beating because it’s stronger physically.
The key part in that verse is the ending. God gives husbands a command and ends with a conditional statement, “…so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
If I can paraphrase without plagiarizing God, He’s saying “Don’t talk to me if you’re dishonoring my daughter or treating her poorly.” That’s an incredibly strong statement from the Lord. If you’re dishonoring and not understanding your bride, God’s saying your prayers will go into a hold. I certainly don’t want that. But what is it to “understand” your wife? To understand your wife is to know her heart. You can’t make assumptions, it requires questions, patience, and work. Stay in the conversations that you might typically try to ignore or avoid. Ask her what her dreams/desires are and encourage her. You are her protector physically but invest in protecting her emotions and heart as well. That will move you to reflect Christ’s character towards her.