Marriage Minute

February 22, 2024

It can be straightforward to find outlets for blame in our marriages. All too often, we will blame those closest to us, which ends up being our spouse. Luke 6:43-45 reminds each of us that all marriage problems are problems of the heart. Paul Tripp describes this implication that areas of your marriage that seem to be problematic, are just how the symptoms get revealed. 

As one sinful person married to another sinful person, there is nothing more humbling than to admit I am my biggest marriage problem. Not my wife, it’s me. Wives that goes for you as well. Again, don’t hear what we’re not saying. As a whole, my brokenness affects my marriage and I have to admit that. If both spouses always point their finger at the other, there would be no work for any therapist, counselor, etc., because no one would want to work on themselves. 

But here’s the interesting thing. The portal/gateway to hope is helplessness. Admitting within my own strength, I am helpless to fight a spiritual battle for my heart. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit can I defend and defeat my own flesh and the enemy’s works. Change that is not short-term will always travel the pathway of the heart. 

When you have struggles or problems, don’t play the blame game. Shut down and fire your “inner lawyer” who always tries to defend what you did and listen to what the Lord is saying to you about you. With that passage in Luke 6, the fruit on a fruit tree will only be healthy when the roots are healthy. If the fruit looks bad, the roots are likely bad. Marriages will flourish when the roots of that marriage (the heart of both spouses) are healthy.